26.1.09

Mustache Birthday

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The holidays were pretty sedate around here.

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We decorated, like, a robot tree and shit, and mostly just took it easy.

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The kids dressed up all fancy.

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Also, some underpants.

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A couple of weeks went by and then this last Saturday was my birthday. I turned 40.

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We rented movies and ordered pizza. I let Tessa drive.

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She just got her permit and is still learning, but she's picking it up real quick. Also, mustache.

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Also, goatee.

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Caitlynn with that goatee was really reminding me of Scott Ian from Anthrax, which was pretty great.

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I pointed out the Scott Ian thing and the kids were like, "Oh yeah, the bald guy from that old band," a comment that didn't exactly make me feel 39.

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Also, eyebrows.

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Anyway we went to get movies and Hollywood Video was pretty cool about the whole thing. They didn't call the cops or yell.

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The girls did a lot of yelling, though. I got a lot of insight into how men look from the female perspective during our little outing.

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"Heeyyy, it's fuckin' Scent of a Woman, alright!"

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"Yo dawg, check it out, mutha fuckin' Sapphire Girls, yeah!"

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No, Giuseppe. Just no.

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"Fuck, let's go get the MOTHERFUCKIN' PIZZA, dawg! MOTHERFUCKIN' PIZZA, YEAH."

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"Mutha fuck I'm gonna eat me some PAPA JOHN'S, NIGGA! PAPA MUH FUCKIN' JOHN'S, YEAH YEAH! WHAT? WHAT? FUCK YOU."

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"Yeah, nigga. Papa John's."

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Apparently men are all belligerent, bellowing morons.

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"Bitch, I'm gonna eat nine pieces of mutha fuckin' Papa John's... I'm gonna eat TWELVE MUTHA FUCKIN' PIECES OF PAPA JOHN'S!"

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"BITCH, GET ME SOME RANCH!"

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"FUCK YOU BITCH I SHAVED OFF MY MUSTACHE SO I COULD EAT MY PAPA JOHN'S AND I'M SO FULL OF TESTOSTERONE I'M GONNA GROW IT RIGHT BACK AFTER DINNER SO FUCK YOU!!!"

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"Bitch, I'm gonna eat SIXTEEN fuckin' pieces of Papa John's and drink a case of beer and DO THE MUTHA FUCKIN' DISHES ON TUESDAY OR WHENEVER I FUCKIN' FEEL LIKE IT BITCH!"

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Later we had some birthday cake.