23.10.08

I Am Still a Controversial Motherfucker

"That wasn't funny."

ducky0

"What?"

"The dog eating the baby. I don't get it. It's just not funny."

"Aw, what are you talking about?! That shit was hilarious. That baby's eyes were all, like, oogle-boogle! Ha ha! 'Yeller, nooooo!'"

"What if somebody saw that, and a dog had just eaten their baby? They wouldn't think it was funny."

"Maybe they would. Maybe the laughter and absurdity of it would help them through their pain. Maybe it would be therapeutic. 'Oh my god, Yeller's eating that baby, whyyyyy!' Ha ha ha!"

"No. I don't think they'd find that funny. At all."

"Well maybe I'll send Yeller over to eat their next baby."

b

"I didn't think it was funny either."

"What?! What do you mean you didn't think it was funny?! It was funny! A dog eating a baby! Fuck!"

"Well, I guess it was funny, but I like your stories better. You should get on there and write another story."

"Well maybe I don't have any more stories."

"Well maybe you should get some."

"What are you guys yelling about?"

d

"We don't think Yeller eating that baby was funny. We think it's sad and disturbing."

"I didn't say that! I just like it better when he writes stories."

"You guys, seriously, that was funny, OK? I was reading the first e-mail, and I was like, 'Oh, poor Yeller, look at him in that cage.' And then he sent that picture out and I was all, 'Ha ha, look at Yeller! He's eating that baby! He's doing fine!'"

"Hey, you're not going to use that picture of me, are you? My wife's going to think I was drinking at work."

19 comments:

cindy said...

a-hole

Anonymous said...

Oooohhhh look how my moisturizer is working!

Im all glowy! And Dewey!

XOXO

The "Real" Dewey

ben said...

gotta love all the work place drama... all controversial 'n shit...

Anonymous said...

I'm just wondering what warrants that drunk guy getting three work computers??

And Patrick, I just want you to know how happyhappyhappy I am that you're back. I would have had no idea, except for Antonia linking to you. And now I feel like I should have somehow known on my own.

Dee said...

I too am extremely glad you are back.
As if you ever left hey?
You were just ignoring us. And I felt like such a loser, to still check the old site every now and then but it paid off!
Although I am being very boring right now and agreeing with your colleagues.
I didn't get it either. Not because of people who lost their baby because a dog ate it. I don't think that really happens that often. I just didn't get the joke.
The other posts? Ha! Funny.
Although I think Tessa is good competition. Fifty squirrels!!
Best one I heard in quiet a while.

The Management said...

I feel less sorry for Ole Yeller now. If he is able to eat babies, being adopted seems of secondary importance.

Ambitious Blonde said...

I thought Yeller eating the baby was funny. My thirteen year old asked why I was laughing, so I told him. He (only) now thinks I have issues.

If you only knew kiddo, if you only knew...

Anonymous said...

Don't listen to 'em, Hughes. That shit was HI-LARIOUS.

Anonymous said...

^^^^^^^
What anonymous said.

Anonymous said...

O/T...Patrick, glad to see you've come out of your cocoon. I knew I keep that old site marked and for a reason.

siddalee said...

Funny! Yes, I laughed and laughed at the oggle-boogle eyes, I was so sad for Yeller needing a home and then Yeller eating the baby - Yes, Ha!arious.

Jack said...

Huzzah! The return of hughes!!!! Wit and candor abound, But this time with privately owned domiciles and women folk!

Susskins said...

Through all this drama, I can't help but notice that Tessa is extraordinarily pleased to have her picture taken.

I'm becoming infatuated with her. I feel like I should send her fifty squirrels and a new lice helmet.

Salty Miss Jill said...

I work with a bunch of boring-ass j-holes who wouldn't think that was funny't take a joke. That shit was funny. Bring it on!

Salty Miss Jill said...

(excuse the typo-I mashed '...think that was funny with' 'fuck 'em if they can't take a joke')
More medication, please.

gutshot said...

It pleasures us to see you're back on the ether! Not 'on ether' as in 'on crank'... although that would be a return to form, ey? XXXOOO

just beth said...

My husband was standing behind me looking over my shoulder when I read the Yeller post, and I was all, 'gasp! oh god, that's awful!' and he was all 'BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! look, old yeller's eating the baby, hahahaa'.

Boys are weird.

xo

b.

CodeMonkey said...

You're like the only blogger to have managed to not post anything concerning the election.
I take my hat off to you (or would if I had one).

Adam Volk said...

Very, very good.